Mittwoch, 9. September 2015

ALMOST REALITY: Cool Taste of Summer (part 3... The ice cream diet)


Sul Sul!



Your host, fat Kirancilla here. 


I've told you I've gained weight after eating too much "Weight of the World" ice cream. And it's not like I was a supermodel before, so to speak. To put things short, I'm the fattest I've ever been and I need a diet. Preferably a tasty one. 



I go to see my sister Michaela for advice. 
How does she manage to keep her wonderful figure, 
having as much tasty treats around her?



"Relax", she says. 
"You need to try the ice cream diet."

Ice cream diet?
Sounds perfect!

She hands me the recipe for 
"Taste of Diet Ice Cream". 





Gotta try this!

It looks almost like "Weight of the World"...
... I'll garnish it with orange slices and top it off with berry sauce. 


 Now that's what I call a delicious diet!



 And an effective one.
I've just had three servings of ice cream, 
but I feel slimmer...

I think I'll have another one. 
 Or two. 

 Or three. 
Can you get fat on diet ice cream?


I fall asleep dreaming about ice cream treats that make you slimmer.

The next morning...


... as I clean the sink after brushing my teeth, 
I think just how lightweight I feel. 

Then my eyes meet the mirror and
- I'm SHOCKED. 


It must be the mirror, I think to myself as I climb into the shower... 
... but this body seems to have gotten sooooo much less than before...



But after I've dressed, it can't be negated anymore. 

I've become almost insanely slim!!!!

On ice cream!!!!



But I look like a stick figure, 

and it just so happens that I prefer my body with a bit more curves. 


And... 

all that ice cream left me yearning for "real" food. 



I'll go have breakfast. 



Later, hunnies. 



Fat Kirancilla will be back soon. Just as fat as I've always used to be.










(Castaway) Jess: Shipwrecked and Single - Part 3


Sul Sul!





Jess here from the Queen Solomon shipwreck. 

As you still haven't shown up for rescuing me,
I'll go follow Nanihi to meet her father,
Chief of the indigenous people of this island I've washed up on. 



 But before I can meet the Chief, I am met by Rarahu, 
his personal guard. He tells me that the people in the village
have heard a lot of things about me. They are very excited to meet me
- and they want to give me presents as well!
 Rarahu suggests I go meet some villagers one by one and become their friend. 


 The marketplace looks big and full of activity. 
I go to eat some coffee beans to stay awake. 
Don't wanna go home to get sleep now!

 The first person I meet is Kiri Roimata, 
who tells me something about fire in the heart and that
now the only fire she lights is the one of the garbage pit, 
which keeps going out once and again. 
She's tired of lighting it. 

 I go to light a garbage pit and she promises me eternal friendship. 
That was easy.

 I discover the indigenous people are actually very civilized. 
They built a rather decent toilet hut, and even have showers! FINALLYYYYY!!!
 As I go to relieve myself, 
I notice just HOW civilized the "wild people" are... 
they seem to have their very own culture!
And that guy painting over there looks intriguing...

 Talking to Timoti Fekitoa over a game of chess, 
he tells me a legend about taboos in his society. 
He also says that "for me, there are no taboos". 
Sounds interesting, especially as an outsider, 
who can easily break a taboo without noticing it very much. 


 What Orama Herenui wishes for is a Singing Stone, but
a bad memory keeps her from visiting Scavenger Fields and play a game. 
 I go for her, play the memory game, and win a stone.

 As I hand the stone to her, her face lights up bright. 
"I will not forget you", she says. 


 They have warned me of Emobi Whetu being a bit jealous. 
But to me, he just says he needs to repair stuff, but doesn't know how. 
 I take some delicious food from the community kitchen. 

 Then I repair a broken exercise machine. 
Emobi thanks me so much. 

 Nanihi comes with an elderly woman. She is Huhana, her mother. 

 Instead of a simple "thank you for rescuing my daughter", Huhana pulls me into a tight hug. 

 She invites me to the Harbour to meet more villagers, 
and eventually also the Chief.



 Ahio Heimata is a man who doesn't know well how to fish. 
I think I'll show him. 
 And the girl is Tumata Tehea, a romantic girl who loves music. 
I'll think of something. But first, Ahio. 
The man needs to be helped. 
 I go to fish near him so he'd eventually see and learn, 
but it seems he never looks my way. 
 We talk a bit when evening starts to fall, 
and he returns home empty-handed. 
Poor Ahio.

 I spot some drums and play a song for Tumata, who absolutely loves it. 


 Ranui Heimata, who seems to be Ahio's sister, 
seems a tough girl, but she becomes my friend soon after I've pushed her on the swing. 

 A warm bath! YES LORD!!!



 The next morning I first spot the village's best known womanizer, Akolo Mamanu. 

 Fishing right in front of him, I finally manage to teach Ahio. 
He is very happy. 

 Digging out a little treasure in the sand. 

 Akolo flirts with me. 
Yeah, so I could bring him "a jar of light so he could behold my beauty all night", 
if i caught some fireflies. But I prefer to just keep listening to all the 
beautiful nonsense Akolo babbles about. 
In the end, it's all the same and he becomes my friend. 
 Friend. Nothing more. I swear. 
 Finally Rarahu tells me the Chief is now ready to see me. 
 Chief Fangaloka Manave invites me to... 

... be special guest in tonight's 
VOLCANO FESTIVAL!!!

I wonder what kind of festival that is?

 Oh, hot springs. 
I hope "special guest" is not a code for "sacrifice"
and I'd end up being cooked in one of those hot springs soon. 


Uh-oh. 
What will he tell me?

 A present?

 "This is our communication apparatus. 
Use it to call anyone you like. 
For example, right now. 
To choose a date. 
It's tradition that the special guest on the Volcano Festival 
choose a date."


OH MY. 


Well. 



I'll try...






TOOT!!!!!


"Whom will you call, Jessica?"


I better choose wisely...
for all I know, 
I might end up being "married" to them tomorrow morning!




So I choose...